And the third new tattoo? Coming soon…

The lovely Virgin Atlantic people have me on standby for the 2pm flight, and it’s only half an hour now until I find out if I get on. Cross fingers for me please. This afternoon’s New York plans included a lovely saunter along 8th Street in the East Village (my favourite New York neighbourhood) with a stop off at the esteemed FunCity Tattoo on St Mark’s Place for a couple of little somethings. The whole Lower East Side is a place of wonder for me, on previous visits I’ve spent hours just meandering around the evocative streets soaking up the essence of arty New York, imagining it’s the seventies again and Patti Smith is playing a gig round the corner with Television, spoiling for a catfight with Debbie Harry. I wish those girls could just get along!

I’m not sure how much time I’ll have for such ponderings this visit. We’re filming Letterman tomorrow, which is a bit too exciting to contemplate yet, then after the folliowing day’s gig we haul ass to Philly. I’ve only ever been to New York (many times, I love it so), so it’s going to be an interesting few weeks, with some great opportunities to hook up with far flung friends along the way. Drop me a line if you’re about!

Time for more airport thumb twiddling (read: playing Scrabble Worldwide on Facebook), but check out this photo of me playing in St Petersburg the other week, taken by the extremely talented Alex LA.

I’ll be writing more about my summertime adventures around the known world very soon…I just need to get to America first. Oh, and I managed to spill quite a lot of tomato ketchup on my trousers when I was eating an overpriced airport breakfast earlier. This day can probably only get better.

Give me an arena filled with thousands of screaming fans, a high pressured recording situation, a TV show beaming images out to millions of people worldwide, a documentary crew following me around or a live jam of a brand new song in front of an expectant audience and I’ll be focused, confident and as witty as necessary. Put me in a room with three people putting together a band for a big international pop star and I’ll crumble in front of your very eyes. Today this happened.

It’s not the meeting and greeting part that throws me. I’m always happy to shake hands and have a chat with an accomplished artist and am rarely freaked out by the fame thing. Today we had a very pleasant opening conversation, admired each others’ tattoos…I even made a couple of jokes which were met with pleasant laughter. Three sets of eyes turned to me expectantly, impressed by my CV [Note: the four high profile session jobs I’ve had so far I got through either having a meeting with the artist or just being hired to do the job based on a recommendation] and keen to see what I had to offer them.

Borrowed bass plugged in (mine’s in a lockup waiting to go to the next European show of my current tour later this week), microphone adjusted (yes, backing vocals again, hurrah!), monitor levels set….and freeze. The complex backing vocal parts I drilled in to my flu-addled brain yesterday floated off on the breeze while my fingers flapped around like bits of old chewing gum, saggy and useless. The moment a vocal section sounded vaguely good the bassline broke down completely and vice versa. I considered stopping playing just to sing but feared that wouldn’t work either. This was a very bad audition.

I peered, embarassed, at the star turn and her team, to be met with a row of surprised and frankly unimpressed faces. She stopped the song, kindly making some comment about it being “way too long” rather than my playing being “way too horrendous”, and started up the next. Nothing improved and with a brisk handshake and a “Thanks for coming” I was soon out of the room. I grabbed a moment to make wry apologies to the musical director, who was also very kind and commiserated with me on my ill health and borrowed instrument (“It’s like singing with someone else’s vocal cords isn’t it” - “Yes, just like I was today!”) while propelling me towards the exit.

Guitar and leads packed up and coat wrapped around my chilled bones I scurried off to get the bus home, indulging myself in a self pitying sniffle or three as I considered the horror of what had just happened and the impression I must have made on these people. These powerful, top class music industry people. Would I ever work again?

Once home, a cup of tea and some perspective cheered me up. I know how I performed today was not me - it was caused by my having caught a cold in Russia last week and still being mentally exhausted from a summer of intense touring. Not having my own guitar didn’t help, but the chewing gum fingers were all down to my body and brain begging for rest. When my voice starts to go I feel unsure of myself, regardless of whether I happen to have an audition or not. It’s such an integral part of who I am and what I do and what I want to do that I freak out when it’s not there for me when I need it. We all have bad days - unfortunately mine was in front of three music industry professionals.

I think it’s a shame I didn’t show my best side today, but perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be. I have big plans for the rest of this year, and though I’ll always jump at the chance to play for talented people who I respect, I have a lot to be getting on with.

And hey, there’s always the next audition to look forward to.

I spent most of the evening chatting to the lovely Linnea, the girl behind a band called Evelinn Trouble who’d played the previous day. The first thing I did when I got home today was check out her remarkable music, you should too:

And I am on my way home. Leaving Tokyo for the third time in two weeks, London-bound. See you soon!

Here are the fruits of our labour live in front of hordes of screaming fans. Damn, I wish I could have been on that stage:

In other news: I am currently in a lovely hotel room in Byron Bay looking out at the sea. My main activities today have been eating, walking on the gorgeous beach, sitting in a jacuzzi, swimming, sitting in a jacuzzi again, eating some more, lying about on a sun lounger reading Danny Wallace’s Friends Like These (brilliant) and writing this blog post to you lovely people. Gig later then bed. It’s the perfect day!!

I start my long journey home on Monday and have almost finished my book - any recommendations for something good I can (hopefully) grab at the airport?

Greetings from the Paradise Hotel in Incheon, near(ish) Seoul. It seems that paradise has dirty walls, supremely expensive room service (£11 for a bowl of french fries!) and no swimming pool. It also has views across the city, kimonos to wear and BBC Entertainment on the telly, a channel seemingly obsessed with detective dramas. It all balances out.

I wasn’t feeling well today; all the travelling overtook my body and brain and I started to feel pretty sick. After a long nap and a nice walk round the local tat shops it was time to play the show and I was feeling pretty good again, so it was a really enjoyable evening.

Now, to bed I go with Dave Gorman’s marvellous America Unchained.

Enjoy - I most certainly did

Some sense coming later, possibly…